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Choices

Those who know me are never surprised to find me engaged in a heated debate about any number of topics.  Some people find that I am particularly hard on women and I will proudly admit that this is absolutely true.  I’m hard on women because it’s necessary and because too many of us are not being called out for our behavior.  For some reason, women have bought into this notion that we don’t have to be accountable for our actions because everything that goes wrong in our lives is due to some outside source and certainly not our fault.  The real truth is; we have a lot more control over the successes, failures, triumphs and tribulations in our lives than we think because we have the power to choose.

Women who are in bad relationships often don’t want to accept the fact that they made a bad choice; instead it becomes a “blame game” and entirely the fault of the man.  Even if there is any truth in what is being said about your ex boyfriend/husband or whoever, the fact is, you still made a choice to be with that person.  Any circumstance you have in your life can be traced back to a choice you made; of course you can’t take it back, but you still have the power to choose how you react.

Whenever a woman talks about how horrible the father of her children is I wonder why she had kids with him in the first place.   Seriously, it makes women look pretty stupid. I have known about birth control since I was a teenager and so have you; did you choose to have unprotected sex?  If so, then that choice led you into your current circumstance. Did you leave birth control up to your man? If you did, then the next question is; why would you ever make someone else responsible for your body?  These are men and actions that were chosen by you!  No one forced you to be with him and no one forced you to have kids with him.  If you are a woman who is angry with the father of your kids, ask yourself why; are you really angry at him, or are you really angry at yourself? Whatever the source of the anger is, deal with it and move on.  Holding onto anger is a choice and why would anyone choose to be miserable?

Women, take control of your emotions and take responsibility for your choices and actions; there are consequences to everything we do and once kids are involved you have to think about how your decisions are going to affect them too.  Remember that every day you have an opportunity to make another choice; one that can set a positive tone and serve as an example for your kids; choose to work with their father; choose to be reasonable and fair; choose to let your children grow up with the love of both mom and dad.

P. Palmer
Supporting Men’s Rights